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Archived entry | Matt Wilcox .net

I'm hip to the lip. (says Patti Jo)

Woah it’s cold today. In fact it’s been abnormally cold for the last 24hrs, which wouldn’t be a bad thing if it hadn’t stopped me sleeping, but as that’s exactly what it’s done I’ve decided the cold is in this instance A Bad Thing. *shivers*
Normally I quite like it being cold outside, the snow and frost look beautiful, and the hues and tones that bathe everything in this weather are also rather nice to appreciate. I also like cold weather because I get to spend my day inside the house, warm and snug, whilst I mock The Cold’s futile efforts to get to me. Unfortunately on this occasion The Cold has seemingly found a way to negate the insulating properties of the modern home and has proceeded to laugh manically while slapping me about my weary sleep-deprived face with a (chilled) white glove. I do not believe The Cold masterminded this plan on it’s own (it is after all inanimate, and thus lacking in the cognitive abilities to mastermind such a daring intrusion into my home). I think it had an accomplice, and I believe that person to be my father. Whilst watching the snow fall outside I checked on the central heating to find it was switched off. Only my dad would contemplate doing something like that in weather like this. I have remedied that situation but the wait for the house to heat up again will be a long one. In the mean time I am huddled over the oil heater in the loft and have turned the brightness up on both my monitors in the vague hope that the extra power output will result in that extra sliver of heat.
Moving on…

Something struck me last night as I listened to one of my Winter Chill albums. Actually two or three things struck me. The first was that there’s no better thing than something that speaks to your soul, unless it’s something that sings to your soul. After that semi-poetic revelation I was struck by a tag-team blow of inspiration and desire to do something creative - unfortunately without any particular inspiration on what to be creative with. In the end I gave up on the idea for a video put to music owing to the feasibility of the shots I was imagining (I need a film crew dammit). Instead I grabbed my ancient 1.3Mp camera and tried to do a self-portrait that wasn’t entirely trite. Limitations with the technology, time of night, and available locations resulted in nothing special, the only redeemable shot rescued via the Life Support technology that is Photoshop. It’s nothing special, but it’s a start. I’ve decided the likelihood of getting that Canon 350D is sitting pretty at about 70%. If I got it there would have to be a compromise for spending so much, and I’m thinking the trip to Scotland for my holiday this year might be curtailed, or dropped entirely.
The third thing that struck me while I listened to that Winter Chill CD was that I have been living in a creative rut recently. This was the heavyweight revelation that was delivered with aplomb after the brief one-two feint of the first two realisations.

There was a time, not so long ago, when I would do things which were creative. I would doodle, I would draw, I would make pictures in Bryce and Photoshop, I would take photos, I would listen to music and actually listen and appreciate it rather than hear it and filter it out. I would use my imagination.
Recently I have done none of these things, and now I have that realisation I feel saddened by it. I’ve spent the last five or six months thinking about everything with simple logic. There’s been no synaesthesia, no imagination, no wondering ‘if’ or ‘maybe’. No crazy dreams or ideas. No sitting back and taking life in, no appreciation of anything other than the digitised concepts my cerebrum was filtering together for me. It’s like somehow the creative parts of my brain stalled and cut out and the rest of me just didn’t realise. My brain has been working entirely in for and while loops with the occasional if and else logic block thrown in. There have been no rand() function calls. There have been no break commands.

Dropping the obscure scripting analogy and moving along I’m trying to kick start those creative bits of grey matter again. I’ve realised that those pesky logical bits might try getting in the way of that by telling me I’m too busy, or that my time would be better spent doing something else. After careful negotiations however my brain has promised to talk to the creative bits again. As a warning not to try shirking this agreement, here’s a message to my brain via some lyrics from Patti Jo:

Just remember I’m hip to the lip before you ask any questions…Make me believe in you.

Patti Jo - Make Me Believe In You

In unrelated news: Happy Birthday GD! smiley icon: smile


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  1. MWF posted 44min, 44sec after the entry and said:

    Happy Birthday GD! smiley icon: smile

    Buy a cheap camera and go to Scotland Jimi. The memories in your head will only be yours but surely the blured imagine of fascination is worth more than the clarity of reality.

  2. Matthew J. Ward posted 1 days, 1hrs, 59mins after the entry and said:

    I also feel like that sometimes Jimski. I belive the culprit is ……. Work, define the meaning of “Crazy”? Going to work day in, day out, 5 days a week, for 40 to 50 years of your life, only to end up looking forward to retirement. Where quite frankly your not as young as you used to be, and your walking around with a colostomy bag.

  3. Matt Wilcox posted 1 days, 3hrs, 14mins after the entry and said:

    Matt, there was a conversation about this at work. How crazy it is that the western world shoe-horns itself into spending the most capable years of your life doing dull routine rubbish and then when you’re old and less capable you maybe get to do things you would have been far better off doing when you were younger. On a personal level it’s ridiculous, but I can’t imagain how to make society plausable and not end up doing exactly what we’re doing now. When it comes down to it the younger generation support society, and if we all went and did what we’d really like to, everything would fall apart.

    Chris - it depends what you want from the trip and how you intend to get it. We shall see.

  4. MWF posted 1 days, 7hrs, 47mins after the entry and said:

    I get to do what I want and still pay my taxes.

  5. GD posted 1 days, 7hrs, 50mins after the entry and said:

    What I want to know is, who is the very pretty girl sharing your photo?

  6. GD posted 1 days, 7hrs, 51mins after the entry and said:

    Good heavens now there is another one.

  7. Matt Wilcox posted 2 days, 2hrs, 41mins after the entry and said:

    Pretty girl on the photo? You mean in the banner at the top of the screen? Could be Carmel or it could be Tracy. I don’t think there are any others with me and a girl in.

    Good point Chris, good point. smiley icon: smile

  8. Matthew J. Ward posted 2 days, 3hrs, 12mins after the entry and said:

    Jimski with the ladies smiley icon: wink

  9. James Dodd posted 4 days, 3hrs, 54mins after the entry and said:

    >My brain has been working entirely in for and while loops with the occasional if and else logic block thrown in. There have been no rand() function calls. There have been no break commands.

    Am I the only one who loved that! smiley icon: laugh

  10. Gem posted 11 days, 19hrs, 59mins after the entry and said:

    Going back to your initial post Jimi….your comments about not doing anything creative for a while, I can definatley relate to. I was starting to worry, as I havent been particularly creative of late. Im glad im not alone and I’m sure it’s a phase that will pass….

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